When you’re a bride-to-be, you have to choose your bridesmaids with care. You need people who will show up when they’re supposed to and be there for you without causing drama. You also need people who can get along with each other. But, even when you’re selective about your wedding crew, problems sometimes arise. If you’ve got a bridesmaid who is causing issues, don’t send her packing just yet. Instead, try these conflict resolution ideas.
When They Hate the Wardrobe . . .
Is your bridesmaid complaining about the dress you’ve asked her to wear? Sit down and talk with her to get to the root of the issue. While it may just be a matter of clashing tastes, chances are there’s something deeper at play. Maybe she feels self-conscious in the dress. Or, perhaps it’s a bit out of her budget. In cases like these, consider being sensitive and coming up with some kind of compromise, like letting her wear a slightly different (or cheaper) dress in the same color.
When They’re Being Distant . . .
Sometimes, a bridesmaid may get a little distant in the weeks leading up to the wedding. Just like with the dress issue, try to find out why. It might be that your bridesmaid is feeling a little left out. Or, maybe she’s having issues in her own relationship that are making your happiness a bit hard to deal with. She may also be busy or stressed, or she might feel like you’re not giving her enough attention. As hard as it may be, remember to be a friend first and a bride second.
When You Have to Cut Her Loose . . .
While some problems can be resolved with a dose of kindness and a good heart-to-heart, other issues are more serious. If your bridesmaid is ruining your experience or causing you more stress than you can handle, it may be time to take her out of your wedding. That can be hard to do, and once you’ve done it, there’s no going back. So, think long and hard about the decision, and then let her down as gently as you can. When possible, try to make it seem like you’re doing her a favor. Try saying something like, “I can see getting to Maui for my wedding is causing you a lot of stress. It’s okay if you can’t be there.” If that doesn’t work, be firm but compassionate, and make sure you tell her the news privately and in person.
You shouldn’t have to put up with a lot of unnecessary wedding drama, but you can’t be a total diva either. Always consider your bridesmaids’ feelings and your own. Also, think about how each bridesmaid is impacting the wedding and the group dynamics as a whole. If you can think with a level head, you can handle bridesmaids issues and make even the toughest decisions with ease.
