How to Have a Small Wedding Without Hurt Feelings
Many people dream of a big, beautiful wedding with practically everyone they know in attendance. For others, however, that's more like a nightmare. If you lean more closely toward the second category and prefer a smaller wedding, don’t feel bad. You’re not alone. You’re also perfectly entitled to have your “big” day be as small as you want it to be. However, you do run the risk of hurting feelings as you trim down your guest list. And, while you probably can’t keep everyone happy, there are things you can do to minimize the hurt and make people understand.
Tell the Truth
The worst thing you can do is lie. If you tell people you’re trimming your guest list because of non-genuine COVID concerns, for example, someone is bound to comment on pictures of maskless guests at your wedding. For this reason, it’s best to be as honest as possible. Be clear about your reasons for wanting a smaller wedding. While you don’t necessarily owe anyone an explanation, an honest answer, such as cost or privacy concerns, can sometimes keep people from being overly angry. And, honestly, anyone who is too mad about not getting an invite probably isn’t that great of a friend anyway.
Keep it Truly Intimate
Often, when you invite someone to your wedding, they just assume they’re allowed to bring a guest. However, allowing everyone to bring a plus one can quickly turn your small wedding into something larger than you imagined. Furthermore, if people see that random dates and other extras turned up at your wedding when they weren’t invited, they might feel more offended and hurt than they otherwise would.
Have a Destination Wedding
An easy “trick” for keeping your wedding small is to make it a destination wedding. If you have your wedding in Maui, for example, but you live across the country, chances are that a lot of people, invited or not, won’t be able or willing to make the trek. This sneaky little tip can lead to a wedding in a beautiful place plus the trimmed-down guest list you wanted all along.
At the end of the day, you have the final say in who comes to your wedding and how big or small it is. While you should make every effort to be kind and gentle with people’s feelings, don’t make too many sacrifices for others. After all, this should be the one day that’s all about you and the one you love.
